I don’t like posting about the messy moments. It makes me feel vulnerable and it makes me feel like I’m whining. I realize though that most often that I am blessed by someone being completely raw and real. I hope that through sharing this you’ll realize you’re not alone and possibly even be willing to share your advice and stories.
We just finished night two of sleep training. This photo about sums it up.
Can I just give a quick shout out to my main squeeze, Trader Joe’s Dark? Let’s be honest…I wouldn’t be functioning right now without it.
So let’s go to the beginning, when he was first born up until about 3 months it looked like we were gunna score with a good sleeper. And then about 3 ½ months he started rolling over forcing us to stop swaddling. This is when nights became no bueno. The swaddle has a magic power I’m telling you. Anywho, since then it’d been pretty consistent that he’d go to bed around 9 pm and then wake up and eat at 2 am and 4 am. After the 4 am wake up and feeding our day was ready to begin according to Littleman. 4 AM PEOPLE! He became quite daring and figured out how to launch himself out of his bassinet. Luckily I was always there to not let the final push happen but we came waaaay too close to let him sleep in it anymore. We had to consider our other options.
For a week we tried co-sleeping thinking that would help but no luck. This lead to us being up at least every two hours. In this time, he somehow learned to worm crawl over to me to pinch my face to let me know that it was time to eat. This did not lead to a very awake and pleasant mommy. It did give us a few good laughs though.
Then one Sunday we decided that it was time for the crib…in his own room. Man that was hard. According to the AAP they recommend that your baby share your room with you for the first 6 months to a year. We couldn’t fit the crib in the bedroom so that was out of the question. It’s one of those moments I’ll hold close to my heart because it’s really one of the moments I had to give Little up to Christ. I did everything on my part to ensure his breathing and safety were assured but really I didn’t have much more control other than what crib liner I chose.
Since then it’s been about a month and fairly consistently he’s slept in his own room. He’s pretty regular in going to sleep about 7-7:30 and then waking up at the times I’d mentioned.
I was tired ya’ll. I am tired as I write this. I may or may not be consuming my third cup of coffee as I type. I started asking around and it seemed that kids around his age were either sleeping through the night or only waking up once. I just couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I know every kid’s different but there seemed to be some consistency in what I was hearing. I knew we needed to regroup and figure something out that worked better for us.
This Wednesday I kind of hit a wall. Emotionally I was drained. I am a part of a Bible study called Beautiful Mess that meets Wednesday mornings. I don’t know about beautiful but I sure did come in a mess. I shared our sleep struggle and how it had broken me down. I was blessed as the moms in our group poured into my mess of a self with loving encouragement, advice, tricks and tips. I felt hopeful as I walked away with some things I hoped to try out. I sat down with Tim that night and we decided we’d try to sleep train and use the cry it out method. Here we go!
Night one: I put him down at 8 pm. I went in and did a “dream feeding” at 11 pm. He went right back down. At 2:30 he woke up and cried it out for 10 minutes. He fell asleep but in the worst possible position! He must have fallen asleep sitting up because he was head down in between his legs almost like he was stretching. I got a good chuckle in but went to re-position him. He of course woke up screaming so I fed him and put him back down. After that he slept until 6 am! That’s the latest he’d slept in in weeks. I’d happily take it. I woke up feeling pretty good. Besides the 2am deal we did pretty well.
Night two: Little went down about 7:30. He woke up about 10:40 and I went ahead and did the dream feed early. Why not? I was still trying to figure this whole schedule out. He went back down as soon as he was done eating. About 1 am he woke up crying. Tim was up working and came in to see if I wanted him to take this shift. I don’t know about you but I can’t sleep when baby’s crying so I told him I’d take it since I’d be up anyways. About 5 minutes into it he sat up and grabbed the top bar of the crib. All of the sudden he began to vigorously try to launch himself out of the crib. I ran from our room to his as fast as I could and in enough time to catch him before he flung himself out. Tim was close behind me. My heart was racing. We both decided he couldn’t safely sleep in the crib so in the bed with us he went. I’m telling you you guys he’s gotta like smell me or something. As soon as he was in our bed he was waking up pretty much every hour and pinching me awake. He’s got these little lobster pincers. Little and I woke up at 4:30 and just laid there trying to be quiet while we let Tim sleep.
Night three starts after I post this. Prayers are much appreciated for a successful night. Crib lowered. A fresh set of pajamas set out. And a pot of coffee ready for the morning. Although that pot of coffee may be brewed at 2 am, who knows. I’ll keep you posted.
In telling you this lengthy novel about our fight with sleep I hope it’s brought you a little bit of comfort that at 2am you’re not alone. During a sip from your 3rd or 4th cup of coffee I’m right there with you. When you’re crying because you’re just so stinkin tired, I feel you.
You totally got this though. Find a friend, a good cup of coffee, and a positive attitude because this too shall pass. And that little that you’re staying awake for is oh so worth it. <3
If you’ve been through sleep training or are going through it share your tips, tricks, advice, stories. I want to hear them!